Cherishing your spouse

As I pondered the readings this week and the challenge to see the positive in my spouse, I will admit, I was a little prideful. I thought, “Well, I already do that. I don’t focus on the negative.” It’s interesting how the Spirit can teach us and humble us if we let it.

The concept of a love-map was new and interesting to me. I found it fascinating, yet irrelevant to me. I’ve been married for 16 years, and I didn’t think there was anything I didn’t know about my husband. I was truly humbled as I read the questions in some of the activities. I am almost certain that my husband could correctly answer 99% of those about me. I, however, would be lucky to get 50% right. This led me on a journey of humility that connected me to the next chapter of fondness and admiration. I don’t always give him credit for how good of a listener he is. He pays attention to everything. I think I could do better (enter sacrifice) about paying more attention to him. We have 3 children now, and sadly they have taken lead over him. I’m heartbroken by this. I am now more committed than ever to improving my portion of the love-map and making him my number 1 again.

Flowing from these musings came my thoughts on fondness and admiration. I adore my husband like crazy. I didn’t think I was focused on negatives at all, but it is so amazing how just changing your thoughts can change everything. I used to get annoyed at him for getting on my case about leaving our sorted laundry piles on the floor in our closet. I always thought he was being petty…our closet isn’t that big, where else would I put our sorted piles? But changing my perspective this week has been awesome. I had to step over a pile once, and I immediately thought, “Woah! That IS really annoying.” All of a sudden, I had such an admiration for him for putting up with me that I was able to find another place for our sorted laundry piles.

It seems so simple, yet so hard. Why is it so hard to have consistent positive thoughts about our spouse? I’ve always wondered why we treat the people we love the worst. I think this change of mindset can be relationship changing, and I look forward to how it can, and will, improve my relationship with my husband.